Willowy Meditations
by MercuryMoon
Summary: Ashitare has just been killed, and Miaka has found Nuriko lying in a pool of his own blood. Nuriko's thoughts and what happens after he dies. COMPLETED
1. Beginning of the End

*Before I begin, I want to make some things clear. I have never read or watched this section of Fushigi Yuugi. This is just how I imagine it. This is the aftermath of Nuriko defeating Ashitare. It takes place between after Ashitare is killed to when they bury Nuriko. I'm just assuming all this stuff so please don't flame me. Ok, I lied. I've read about this on websites, but what I meant was in the manga. And just as a warning, there is swearing and violence. Also, this is a four-part story. This section is from when Nuriko is about to die to when the others find out that he's dead and a little more after that. Enjoy. ^v^  
  
Willowy Meditations  
  
Chapter One  
  
He lay in the snow, blood pouring out of his wound. It would kill him eventually, he mused. But as long as Miaka, his beloved Miko, still lived, nothing mattered. At last, he could join Kourin. Kourin, my adorable younger sister, I've waited forever to join you. He closed his eyes, tears slipping out and splashing on the snow.  
  
"Nuriko! Nuriko, don't leave me!" he heard Miaka cry in the distance. I'm not leaving you, he thought to himself. I'll be back later. Just watch. He opened his eyes slightly and saw Miaka.  
  
"Miaka." he whispered. Suzaku, she was so beautiful. He thanked the Beast God for Miaka not being there when he was pierced by that damn beast of Seiryuu. Ashitare, you are about to take my life, but at least I have killed you. You will not be able to harm Miaka or any of my friends ever again.  
  
Miaka buried her face in her hands. "Nuriko, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Nuriko, you can't leave me! Not now!"  
  
Tamahome jumped out of the bushes and landed next to Miaka. He stared for a moment at Nuriko's mangled body, and then knelt down. "Miaka, what happened to Nuriko?"  
  
She lifted her tearstained face. "Ashi-Ashitare killed him! Tamahome, what are we going to do? We have to find Mitsukake so he can heal Nuriko!"  
  
Nuriko felt his spirit leaving his body. So this is what death is like, he thought to himself. Then he remembered. No! I can't leave now! Not until I tell Miaka! He dove back into his body and pain wracked through him. "Miaka." He raised his left hand and Miaka took it and placed it against her soft face. He could feel her tears running down her eyes and dampening his hand. "Miaka, I never told you this, but." he struggled to sit up so he could tell her like a true Constellation. Tamahome got behind him and helped prop him up. Nuriko sighed softly and closed his eyes again. When he opened them again, he saw Kourin in the distance. She smiled and waved cheerfully at him.  
  
"Ryuuen!" she cried and ran up to him. "You're so big now! I haven't seen you for so long. How's everyone? And big brother?"  
  
"Kourin, they're fine. But I haven't seen Rokou since I've joined Miaka and the other seishi. Kourin, how is it up there?"  
  
Miaka and Tamahome looked at each other worriedly. Who was Nuriko talking to? They couldn't see anyone but the three of them. "Nuriko, are you all right?" Miaka asked.  
  
Nuriko looked at the two of them. "Miaka, what I was going to say before," he paused for a moment. "Ever since I cut my hair, I've decided one thing. That I would protect you to the death. But it seems like I haven't succeed, because I'm already dying and we haven't even found the Genbu Shinzaho. I'm sorry, Miaka. I've failed you, haven't I? Please don't be angry with me." The blood stopped flowing from his wound and Nuriko began turning white. He raised his face and shut his eyes. Light came from Kourin's body and bathed over him. "Kourin, wait just a bit longer. I'm coming."  
  
Miaka grabbed Nuriko and hugged him close to her, ignoring the blood staining her clothing. "Nuriko! No, don't leave us! I'm not mad at you for this!" She choked and tears poured down her face.  
  
"Miaka, I realized that day that the one I loved wasn't Hotohori. It was you, you know? You with your cheerfulness, optimism, courage, and faith in everyone." He looked at Tamahome. "You're lucky, you know that? You get to have the girl I love. Treat her well or I'll haunt you for the rest of your life." Nuriko laughed for a moment. Kourin, I join you now. "Say goodbye to everyone, Miaka.." He sighed his last breath and closed his eyes. His hand slipped from Miaka's grasp and hit the snow.  
  
"Tamahome!" Miaka cried and buried her face in his chest.  
  
Tamahome struggled not to cry, but it was difficult. Nuriko had been one of the best friends he'd ever had.  
  
******  
  
Tasuki jerked his head up. Nuriko! "Mitsukake, didja sense tha'?"  
  
Mitsukake nodded.  
  
"Let's go back. Somethin's happened to Nuriko!" Tasuki took off running in the direction Miaka, Tamahome, and Nuriko had taken.  
  
Tamaneko leapt onto Mitsukake's shoulder, and he followed after Tasuki.  
  
******  
  
Chichiri and Chiriko were riding on their horses when Chichiri sensed something was different among the seven seishi. "Chiriko, we have to turn back, no da. Something's come up!"  
  
Chiriko looked up at Chichiri. "Chichiri, I think something's happened to Nuriko," he said worriedly. "I just got a flash of him."  
  
Chichiri nodded. "So do I. Let's head back, no da. He guided his horse and turned it around, then told it to gallop to where he sensed Miaka, Tamahome, and Nuriko were. Nuriko couldn't be dead. He couldn't!  
  
******  
  
Hotohori slept in his room. He turned in his sleep and dreamed. White light surrounded him. He shaded his eyes and tried to look into the light. A figure stepped into his view and bowed before him.  
  
"Your Highness, I come to say one last thing."  
  
Hotohori ran up to him. "Nuriko, what are you doing here?"  
  
He smiled. "I come to say goodbye, Your Highness," and he vanished in the light.  
  
Hotohori jerked awake and sat up in bed. No. It couldn't have happened! Nuriko couldn't be dead! He picked up the picture of the eight of them gathered together and gently stroked Nuriko's face. It was impossible! Nuriko was too strong to get killed. The dream had to be false. It couldn't have happened!  
  
The door slid open and a young woman stepped inside. She bowed before him. "Your Highness, I bring you your breakfast." She raised her face and Hotohori gasped. Nuriko? What was he doing here?  
  
"Nuriko, why aren't you with Miaka?" he demanded.  
  
Nuriko set the tray on a nearby table and bowed again. "Excuse my rudeness, Your Highness, but I am not Nuriko. My name is Houki."  
  
*****  
  
Nuriko floated up the sky. He landed softly among the clouds and stepped onto the grass. Suzaku was here. He closed his eyes and tried to sense his God. Kourin came up from behind him.  
  
"Ryuuen, are you looking for Suzaku? He wanted me to lead you to him. C'mon!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him after her.  
  
Nuriko smiled. Finally he was reunited with Kourin again. "Kourin, I'll race you to Suzaku!"  
  
Kourin grinned at him. "Silly, you don't know where to go! You'll never be able to win 'cause you'll go in the wrong direction!"  
  
Nuriko smiled back and scooped his sister to him and hugged her. "Kourin, you don't know how much I've missed you. Suzaku, it was all my fault you died. If you hadn't been chasing after me, you would still be alive."  
  
Kourin hugged him back. "Don't worry. It's ok. I'm not mad, and if I'm not mad, you shouldn't. Come on, Suzaku's waiting!"  
  
Soon, Nuriko found himself standing in front of a palace. There was a flash of red and Suzaku descended upon him. "Welcome, Nuriko, to my palace." 


	2. The Painfulness of Farewell

*First of all, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed for me so far. They would include Bunny, Amyfushigiyugi, adfs, etc.  
  
~Hey Leda, only three people have reviewed so far, remember?~  
  
Oh. Well, anyways, this is Amefuri. *points to the blue-haired seishi next to her.* He's been helping me edit. ^^ His talking's going to be in the "~" symbols. But anyways, I've submitted this fic to Faniac. Really hope they'll accept it!  
  
~I hope she didn't get any names wrong. Just the kind of thing she would do..-_- ~  
  
Amefuri, you're not being fair! I haven't seen the anime, only the manga! *punches Amefuri into the sky, then turns around.* But anyways, this chapter starts with Miaka and Tamahome and ends with Tasuki. And for my Taiitsukun fic, I think my writer's block is almost gone! :D  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Miaka stopped crying and looked at Tamahome. "Tamahome, how are we going to tell the others?"  
  
"Miaka!" she heard Tasuki cry. "Wha' happened?"  
  
Miaka turned and saw Tasuki, Mitsukake, Chichiri, and Chiriko running up to them. She buried her face in her hand and cried.  
  
Tamahome answered for her, pointing to Ashitare's limp body. "Nuriko killed Ashitare, but he died, too. Ashitare's claws, they, they pierced Nuriko's body!"  
  
"No," Tasuki whispered. "No! That's impossible! Nuriko's stronger than tha'!" he knelt next to his friend's body and shook him. "Nuriko, wake up! Nuriko!"  
  
Miaka struggled not to cry, but tears slipped out anyways. Tamahome pulled her close to him and hugged her. Chichiri hugged Chiriko close to him, trying to comfort him. Mitsukake fell to his knees and slammed his palms on the snow. "Why? Why does this always happen to me? Why do I always come too late?" He took a deep breath and tried not to cry. Tears splashed onto the snow and his body shook.  
  
Tasuki continued shouting at Nuriko. "Nuriko, you hafta wake up! Yer makin' everyone cry!" He brushed his tears away. "Nuriko!" he screamed.  
  
*****  
  
The violet-haired Warrior of Suzaku hesitated. "Suzaku, my friends are calling to me. They don't want me to leave. What am I going to do? I have to do something!"  
  
"Go into my palace. You are the first to die, but not the last. Nuriko, you are already dead and cannot do anything. Accept that."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Go." He pointed at the door. Nuriko sighed and stepped through it. There was nothing he could do now. He was but a spirit in his world. Kourin jumped after him.  
  
"Ryuuen, don't worry. Nothing bad's going to happen to them!"  
  
He smiled sadly at her. "I know, but I can't help worrying, you know? Miaka and the others, they don't understand just how powerful the Seiryuu Seven are. And they're worried about me. I must find a way to ease their souls!"  
  
Suzaku appeared next to him. "They just need some time to grieve, but they'll be all right. They are, after all, my seishi. I chose each of them for specific reasons."  
  
"What was mine?"  
  
"You were Miaka's mentor. And you taught her much about love. Like how you don't have to be different genders to love each other deeply." He paused for a moment. "You may stay here in my palace until the time arises for you to return home."  
  
"I'm going to go back soon?" Nuriko eagerly asked.  
  
"Yes, but not now. Rest, my seishi. My seishi who returned to me first, rest."  
  
Kourin tugged on Nuriko's arm. "C'mon, Ryuuen, I'll show you your room! It's right next to mine!"  
  
Nuriko smiled. "All right, Kourin. And after that, we're going to have a nice talk. There are some things I need to tell you so you can catch up with the present."  
  
Kourin clapped her hands and grinned. "Yay!"  
  
*****  
  
Tasuki wiped his tears away. Nuriko wasn't going to wake up ever again. He wanted to scream. How could this have happened? Why hadn't he gone with Nuriko? Why? If he had, maybe he wouldn't have died. Fate was cruel to him. The people closest to him always died. First his master, now Nuriko. And for Nuriko's death to be so gruesome just made it more painful.  
  
"Tasuki, what are we going to do now?" Chiriko timidly asked.  
  
Tasuki raised his head and looked at the little kid. Here was someone he would be able to protect. He was only thirteen and inexperienced in the world, unlike him. This was probably the first death Chiriko had ever had to face. He smiled briefly. "We'll bury Nuriko right now."  
  
Mitsukake crouched next to Tasuki. "Here. Let me do this." He held his right hand over Nuriko's body and green bubbles floated into him. The wounds over his body quickly healed and vanished.  
  
Tasuki watched Mitsukake do all this. Suddenly, something stirred inside him. Mitsukake, damn him, why was he doing this now? "Mitsukake, why did you wait so long?! Yer just damn useless! Wha' have ya done that's ever helped us before?" He grabbed Mitsukake's shoulders and screamed at him. "Damn you! I hate you! You're never where you hafta be! Ya let yer own fiancée die! And now ya heal Nuriko after he dies! Why not before?!" He reached for his tessen. "I'm gonna kill ya now! Ya just let Nuriko die! Rekka Shin'nen!"  
  
Chichiri slammed his staff on the ground in front of Mitsukake and managed to project a shield just in time. He ripped off his mask. "Tasuki, what the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Let me at him! He doesn't deserve to live! Rekka Shin'nen!" Flames shot out of his tessen again. Luckily, Chichiri's shield was still up and the flames passed harmlessly over the two of them.  
  
Tamahome grabbed Tasuki's shoulders. "Tasuki, stop it! Calm down! It's not Mitsukake's fault!"  
  
"Yes it is! He's never around when he's really needed! Nuriko dyin's all his fault!"  
  
Mitsukake continued staring at the ground. Tamaneko jumped down from Mitsukake's shoulder and licked his hand. Tasuki grew more and more enraged as the healer didn't say anything to his defense.  
  
"Jus' watch him! He's not even sayin' a thing! He doesn't care 'bout Nuriko!" Tasuki yelled. "He deserves ta die!" With each word, his rage grew more and more until he saw red. Suddenly, all he wanted to do was kill that worthless piece of trash. And no one would be able to stop him. He jerked himself free of Tamahome's grasp and stormed forward. "Chichiri, let down that shield," he ordered.  
  
Chichiri stared calmly into his friend's furious face, which had transformed beyond recognition. "No. Not until you calm down."  
  
"I WON' CALM DOWN TIL L YA LET ME AT 'IM!!!!!!" Tasuki screamed. His tessen began spitting out randomly, creating steam as they hit the snow.  
  
Miaka grabbed his sleeve. "Tasuki, please stop!" she cried. "It's not Mitsukake's fault! No one could have saved Nuriko! He was already d-dead before all you showed up." She choked. "Please don't blame anyone. It wasn't anyone's fault."  
  
Tasuki's vision cleared as he watched Miaka's tears slip into the snow and vanish. His rage began to dissipate. "N-Nuriko," he managed to choke out and he fell to his knees. He slammed his palms into the wet snow. He began weeping angrily. The other Constellations looked at each other, not knowing what to do. Chichiri looked back at Mitsukake and was surprised to notice tears streaming down his face.  
  
"Tasuki's right, I am useless. Everything he said was right. I wasn't able to help Nuriko."  
  
Chichiri turned to face Mitsukake. "You're not worthless. You saved Tamahome's life back when he was under the control of the kodoku."  
  
Mitsukake bowed his head. "But other than that, what else have I done?"  
  
"Damn right! I'd like ter know, too!" Tasuki bellowed. He stood up and thrust his tessen at Mitsukake. "You shoulda been the one who died! Not Nuriko!" The rest of what he was going to say caught in his throat. Miaka and the others watched Tasuki, afraid of what he would do next.  
  
Chiriko hesitated for a moment, then shuffled up to Tasuki. "Tasuki, please calm down."  
  
Tasuki whirled around and a few of his tears splattered onto the boy. With a voice full of hurt, he said, "Chiriko, Nuriko was my best friend and he died. Howdja expect me ta calm down, huh?"  
  
Chiriko shrank back. "But it wasn't Mitsukake's fault."  
  
Tasuki slapped Chiriko, knocking him into the snow next to Nuriko.  
  
No one spoke for a full minute as they all watched Chiriko's emerald eyes fill up with tears.  
  
Tasuki was filled with sudden regret. What had he just done? He hadn't meant to slap Chiriko. "Chiriko, I'm sorry," he whispered sadly.  
  
Tamahome shook himself free of the shock and grabbed Tasuki's arm. "What the hell did you think you were doing?! What did you slap Chiriko for? He didn't do anything to you!" He shoved Tasuki to the ground and continued shouting. "I am sick and tired of you. Calm down, will you?! Nuriko's dead and you have to face it!"  
  
Miaka came over to Tasuki's side and took his hand pleadingly. "Please, Tasuki, Nuriko was already dead before the four of you arrived. No one could have saved him. Stop blaming Mitsukake, and especially yourself. You couldn't have done anything to save him."  
  
Chichiri crouched down next to Tasuki. "Nuriko was the only one who had a chance to defeat Ashitare. None of us would have been able to." Chichiri touched Tasuki's left shoulder. "Don't blame yourself for coming too late."  
  
Tasuki looked at his friends, then at Nuriko's healed body. He put his head in his arms and tears welled up in his amber eyes. "It's true. I was blamin' myself 'cause I wasn't with Nuriko when he died. I shoulda gone wit' him, not Mitsukake. Tha's why I was screamin' at him. An' blew up at Chiriko." He closed his eyes and the welled-up tears slipped down his face. He buried his head in his arms and sobbed. 


	3. Reconciliation

*Disclaimer (I always forget these -_-;;;) Fushigi Yuugi and all its characters belong to Yuu Watase. Wish I could have come up with something like this. This is one of the shorter chapters. Second to last one.  
  
*Oh yeah. I also have some of my fanfiction posted on my website. ^^ .  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Half an hour later, the six of them had gathered around the hole they had dug for Nuriko. Tamahome and Chichiri each took one end of his body and lowered it in gently. Then Chichiri straightened up. Suzaku, bless this friend of mine. He fought bravely and well till the end. Grant him peace. He bowed his head and pressed his lips together, trying not to cry. I must be strong for the others. Nu-Nuriko's not here anymore. He brushed the tears away from his face and raised his head.  
  
Tasuki watched his friends bury Nuriko. He wanted to help, but it was too painful. Nuriko had told him that he had loved Miaka. He knew Miaka was hurting inside, but he didn't know what to do! He had never really been the brotherly type. His older sisters had made sure of that by teasing him every chance they had. But still, he had to try to take Nuriko's place for Miaka. No, he would help ease everyone by replacing what Nuriko did for everyone. But that sounded like he was trying to pretend Nuriko never existed! No. I won' do that. Nuriko was too good of a friend t' replace. Or however ya say it. He looked over to Chiriko, who shrank back from his glance. Damn, wha' was I thinkin' when I slapped the poor kid? He wasn' even doin' a thing ta me! "Yo Chiriko, I'm sorry 'bout what I did earlier. Could ya ever forgive meh for it?"  
  
Chiriko looked at the snow. "If you promise to not get mad at Mitsukake. He did try, Tasuki."  
  
Tasuki looked over to Mitsukake, who stood immobile by Miaka. "But he doesn' even seem sad 'bout all this, Chiriko. How could I forgive a stony like tha'?"  
  
"He's just keeping it all inside," Chiriko explained. "He doesn't want to show it to anyone." He hesitated for a moment. "Maybe you should say something?" Chiriko suggested in a childish voice.  
  
Tasuki paused. Mitsukake was someone he didn't know very well. And one thing he had done for sure was push him farther away. If he apologized, the bridge between the two of them might vanish. He stood up. "Mitsukake, can I have a word with ya? It's pretty important."  
  
Mitsukake shook his head to clear his earlier thought. Had Tasuki been talking with him? "Tasuki, did you say something?"  
  
The young man looked annoyed. "'Course I did. So you wanna or not? Yer choice."  
  
Maybe Tasuki would forgive him for not coming in time to save Nuriko. Mitsukake nodded, and Tasuki walked toward the trees. Mitsukake stepped carefully through the snow and followed him.  
  
"Mitsukake, I'm sorry 'bout what I said before." Tasuki began as Mitsukake started saying, "Tasuki, I'm sorry I couldn't save Nuriko." The two stopped talking and looked at each other. Tasuki burst out laughing. Mitsukake joined in hesitantly. After all, it had been a long time since he had last laughed.  
  
Tasuki smiled. "Go on, say what you were sayin', Mitsukake."  
  
"I, Tasuki, I apologize for not coming in time to save Nuriko. The best I could do for him was heal him so he would look like he was sleeping in the snow. I'm sorry."  
  
Tasuki looked at a nearby stone. "Ya know, I used ta think you were some emotionless stone. Ya never really smiled or laughed around us. Ya just well, stood there. And I guess I got angry at you 'bout that. Ya didn' seem sad that Nuriko had died. But Chiriko explained it a bit ta meh. Still don't totally get it, but I get it enough. Yer just keepin' it all inside, aren't cha?" He looked up at Mitsukake. "Ah, c'mere, ya big stony!" He grabbed Mitsukake in a bear hug and hugged him tightly. Tears ran down his face. "I still miss Nuriko, but it's gettin' easier now," he whispered softly. "C'mon, let's go back to the others. They're probably waitin' for us ta return." 


	4. Reassurances

*Errr... this chapter is REALLY short. XD It's the last one though, so hope you enjoyed the story! ^.^  
  
Disclaimer – Psh, do you really need to know? I'm sure you've read enough disclaimers in your day. :P  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Nuriko watched Tasuki and Mitsukake return to Miaka and the others. He turned around. "Suzaku, I guess you were right. The seven of them will be fine. Although I did worry about Tasuki for a moment. I was afraid he would do something rash."  
  
Suzaku smiled. "Tasuki is very emotional, Nuriko. And he loves you very much. From what I can guess, the two of you were the closest of friends."  
  
Nuriko looked down below him to the snow sadly. "Yes. We were. And I will miss him here." He glanced at Suzaku. "I suppose I should go back into the palace. Kourin is waiting for me." He laughed a little. "She wants to play tag with me." He turned to leave.  
  
Suzaku had a sudden thought. "Nuriko, wait. I have an idea."  
  
"What?"  
  
**********  
  
Miaka and the remaining Suzaku Seishi finished burying Nuriko. She brushed her tears away. She could almost see Nuriko before her, laughing and smiling. If Nuriko were here, he would tell me to cheer up and not cry over him, Miaka realized. So I'd better do what he would want me to do. She gave a big smile for her friends. "Hey everyone, ready to get the Genbu Shinzaho? We're almost there, and if we stop now, Nuriko's sacrifice would have been for nothing."  
  
Tamahome hugged her close. "Yes, we must do that. We're so close to summoning Suzaku now."  
  
"Yes, and as soon as I summon Suzaku, I shall wish to remain here in this world with you, Tamahome," Miaka replied. Suddenly, Miaka gasped. Nuriko's bracelets! How did they get on her wrists? "Tamahome!" she whispered. "Look!" She held up her wrists.  
  
Tamahome took them. "Hey, aren't these Nuriko's?"  
  
Tasuki heard the two of them and came over. "Those were Nuriko's. He musta given them to ya from wherever he is now."  
  
Miaka could feel tears coming to her eyes. She smiled. "That means Nuriko's okay, then! Oh, good, I was worrying about whether or not he was all right or not." She looked at the bracelets. "But these are proof that he is! Otherwise, he wouldn't give them to me." She wrapped her arms around Tamahome's neck. "Oh, Tamahome!"  
  
*******  
  
Suzaku smiled. His Miko was going to be all right now. He whirled around and returned to his palace.  
  
Nuriko watched Miaka hug Tamahome and something turned inside him. If he had been the one alive, that'd be what Miaka would do to him. But he was dead, and there was nothing he could do about it. But he was glad he had given his bracelets to Miaka. They would protect her when he couldn't. He turned to leave, looking back one last time at Miaka's sweet face. "Goodbye, Miaka, Tasuki, Chichiri... I'll miss you. And Chiriko, Tamahome, Mitsukake." He thought briefly of his old love. "And you, too, Hotohori. Goodbye. I hope you find a wife who will love you as I once did." Nuriko looked at his friends on the Earth below him. "I'll wait for all of you," he whispered.  
  
*Ehehehe... special thanks to Starian Princess for pointing out that I forgot to mention Mitsukake... I'm so brilliant, aren't I? There I was thinking I had him there, too. --; Hehehe, and yeah, this is the end of the fic. ^_~ 


End file.
